Cleaning up the basement

I've been trying to sort out and clean up 25 years of accumulated junk in my basement. There is a lot of stuff my wife keeps making me keep. I just printed a label for a box which reads "OMG! More fucking wicker baskets."

A Dish (Network) of ESPN

You have to love affiliate marketing. My son-in-law, who has no permanent address in the US yet, subscribes to one US publication - ESPN News. It comes to my home.

It's fun to see his junk mail. This week it was from Dish Network. That's logical.If you like to read about sports, you must want to watch it on TV. So ESPN happily sells your information to Dish Network.

Let's see what comes next week.

I hate legal documents

From a patent app:

A Web service comprising: one or more processors; a computer-readable medium coupled to the one or more processors having instructions stored thereon that, when executed by the one or more processors, cause the one or more processors to perform operations comprising: ...


Umm, doesn't that mean "A web service"

So close to believable

It appears that the producers of Glee have taken ratings grabbing to the logical conclusion by secretly killing Whitney Houston in order to make one of this episodes songs a sensation instead of an facile choice for Valentine's Day.

Why I won't buy downloadable software from Staples any more

It is tax time, so I needed this year's TurboTax. I had some Staples rewards credits, so I decided to buy it from them. I have no need for a CD, so I opted for the downloadable version. After purchase, when I got the download link I was presented with a dialog that said I must install the Akamai Netsessions Interface to continue with the download. I did the intelligent thing and clicked the link which said something like "I can't install the Netsessions Interface". That gave me a plain URL for the TurboTax .dmg file. It downloaded in less time than it would have taken to click through the license agreement and installer for the Akamai tool.
I was disappointed with this experience, so I sent feedback to Staples. Their response just added to the disappointment - a combination of corporate doublespeak and the typical public relations technique of explaining why it's a good thing we dumped toxic waste on you.

Staples: On Mon, Jan 16, 2012 at 1:03 PM, Staples.com wrote:
Hi Toni, I received your concerns regarding the Staples Download Manager or also know as the Akamai Netsessions Interface.

Tony, not Toni.

Staples: The Interface utilizes a limited amount of your upload bandwidth and PC resources to connect to a peer network, which improves download speed and reliability for you and other end users of the Akamai Netsessions Interface.

Let me translate that into plain language for you. What you have described is essentially bittorrrent. It pushes the cost of large download capability from Staples on to the shoulders of Staple's customers. In a nutshell, this has no benefit for me, but reduces costs for you. Additionally, it requires me to install another piece of software on my machine which I can not independently inspect.

Staples: You are able to read the full License Agreement before choosing to download.

Ah, but you don't get to read the Licence Agreement before purchase. That's what counts. Also, you should not equate the words in a license agreement with an assessment of the safety of installing a piece of software on a particular computer. In most corporations, installing the Akamai download client would require a separate security review.

Important note: Akamai Netsession is required to download successfully. If not already installed on your computer, you will be prompted to download it to continue your installation. This information was listed under the click her on Staples.com with the Questions about downloading software?

That's patently untrue, since I was able to download the .dmg file by clicking on the "I'm having trouble downloading" (or whatever it was) link. That got me a direct URL for the file.

Thank you for this opportunity to respond to your inquiry. I hope you will continue to look to Staples with confidence and satisfaction for all of your office supply needs.
If you would like to speak with one of our representatives, please reply to this email or contact us at the number listed below.

Sigh. I appreciate the fact that they are trying to save money by pushing their download costs onto their users. But please, don't try to BS a person who points that out by telling them it so their advantage.

Kudos to Chase for their anti-fraud efforts

This morning I purchased a type font package from Linotype.com. They are a German company and they process their USD transactions in the UK. Within minutes, I received mail from Chase asking me to verify that the transaction was authorized. It clearly spelled out why they were contacting me, who the payment was made to, when it happened, and what my options were. The best part was the bottom of the mail...

Transaction Authorized Transaction NOT Authorized


If you have any questions about the information shared in this e-mail, please don't hesitate to call us at one of the numbers listed below. We are always here to assist you.

* You can reach us at 800-772-9261 from the U.S. or Canada, and a fraud advisor can assist you.
* Or, if you prefer, just call the number on the back of your Chase Slate card.
* Internationally, you can call us collect at 480-902-7910.

There were two links, nicely distinct so they were easy to identify. I clicked through "Transaction Authorized" and got a nice "Thank you" page. I didn't have to type my password or PIN number. Then they gave me the direct phone number of the anti-fraud team. It was informative and easy.

Good job, Chase.

Zumba Fitness for Xbox Kinect

I reviewed Zumba Fitness Kinect Xbox 360 on Amazon earlier today. I'm not sure they'll publish it because of language...

My wife loves dance and really wanted to love this game. And she does love it, the 1 in 3 times she can get it started. The problem is that their startup sequence is so badly broken that it often takes her more time to begin than to play.
* The enroll screen simply does not recognize any gestures. It can tell that players have entered or left the play space, but it advises "wave to enroll", and will just not recognize a wave. This is frustratingly horrible. It can 5 to 20 minutes until you make the nuanced gesture that it is looking for.
* Then, even though KinectId has recognized her, the game forgets that when it starts. So, after enrolling, you are always unknown again, and you have to go through another menu to tell it what the XBox already knows.

But let's say we get past these hurdles. Then you have to pick what to play. Majesco has a little slider and pane system for choosing your game variation, but it can barely detect and track hand motions. So you can add another 2 or 3 minutes to just select Class/20 Minute Workout.

In the software industry, we have a technical term for this kind of buggy, untested software - "steaming pile of shit". Zumba Fitness aptly earned that title.